Well the big day came and went, we spent the weekend in Canberra to mark the occasion and I am now officially on top of the hill, (surely the place just before you are over the hill?) and the view here is actually OK.
I have decided I am totally fine with being 40. Possibly, that is, because I am in total denial. I mean, I know I was born 40 years ago, its just that I don't really think I am a '40-year-old'. I suppose it has to do with my perception of what a 40-year-old is. As long as I can remember, being 40 was actually pretty old. When I was a child, being 40 meant you wore tan tights with A-line polyester skirts, wore hair rollers and knitted things. Wore nanna-shoes. Baked a lot wearing an apron. I mean, I knew quite a lot of 40-year-olds, and I am surely not that old. It's not that I am a super-youthful glamourous type (oh, so not!) but you see, I am still ME. Just like I was before.
I have never been one to wish I was younger, or yearn for the return of my youth. Don't get me wrong- being younger was pretty good too and I had some great times while I was there, but I wouldn't want to go back. Getting older to me is just about growing and evolving, and discovering who you are. Through my 20's I had no idea who I was, like lots of people I went to uni, drank too much and spent too much time clubbing. By my 30's things changed a bit and I felt like I grew up a lot then, deciding to return to Australia, getting married, settling down, having a family.
And thats where things changed, because thats the time I started to feel like I was in the right place, doing the right things, being the right person. This past year especially has been one of discovery. I know there are people who find out early on exactly who they are and where they are headed, I'm just wasn't one of them.
So, maybe thats what being 40 is about. Or maybe it has just coincided with another birthday. Who knows?
I'll give the tan tights and the hair rollers a miss, but I'm happy baking (with or without the apron!) and most of all, happy being whatever age I happen to be.